Saturday, May 15, 2010

my nigga, it all goes back to January 1st, 1998

when i woke up that morning i was a 15-year-old ward of the court, living in a group home. immediately after breakfast i decided "fuck this shit" and started packing my backpack with my personal effects. then i was out like Cool Hand Luke.

problem was, my group home happened to be located in a remote stretch of the Californian Mojave, so i had to follow the drinkin gourd back to civilization.

problem was, it was daytime and i couldn't see the fucking stars.

in this part of the High Desert they farmed ostriches. oh yeah, they say it's just for the dust feathers, the heavily demanded leather, and the beefy richness of the bird's flesh, but you know how birds is descended from dinosaurs right? i believe they're devising a Jurassic apocalypse in the American wilderness, man.

because what is an ostrich if it ain't a modern day raptor, my nigga? them niggas top out at 9 feet, 285 lbs., and run 45 miles per hour, cuz.

and that's what i was faced with. i had stumbled onto one of these ostrich breeding compounds trying to find my way home. just surrounded by dozens (over a hundred!) of these blood thirsty, rock-eating-beak ass monsters.

if i didn't blast my way out i wouldn't be here to type this right now, nigga.

i'm faking jacks. them niggas ran me off the set.

well, i was runnin, they was joggin real leisurely. all at my neck like, HAPPY NEW YEAR NIGGA!

in my dreams i relive that moment, except i'm holdin the spread gun from contra.

i'm a phobe, niggas.

i recently ran into one of the homies from high school, and he hit me up late last night on the messengers like, "yo son, we need to go out to lunch. or dinner."

"yeah, that sounds really swell, my brother. let me just buy a calendar right quick and figure out when i'm free."

cuz was just being friendly and shit. to be fair, i barely hit my homegirls back when they ask to meet up with a nigga either, but this wasn't just my typical asocialization.

homie hit me up today with a text like, "how is your friday???"

i almost hit him back like, "that's personal, my nigga." instead i just ignored that shit.

i'm ashamed of myself.